


追影 Follow your shadow

by Minirain



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: 中文-广东话 粵語
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27854890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minirain/pseuds/Minirain
Summary: 杜魯斯創造得來不易的和平，莉迪‧安的責任就是守護它。但其實，杜魯斯最想她做的是甚麼？Lady Une wants to protect the peace created by Trieze. She takes this as her responsibility. But in fact, what would Treize want her to do the most?** English version is available at the bottom**
Relationships: Lucrezia Noin/Lady Une, Treize Khushrenada/Lady Une, Zechs Merquise/Lucrezia Noin
Kudos: 4





	追影 Follow your shadow

第14天

杜魯斯大人離開這個世界，離開我，已經14日。我的世界沒有塌下，它必須要繼續運作。我照鏡，臉色依家不太好，可能因為我沒有辦法安睡。眼鏡已被我丟掉，因為我不再需要它。我也不再在意別人對我的評價。

今天約了大總統會談。他是戰後迅速透過民選出來的總統人選。我已跟他交手幾次，是個實幹的人。他出身自工人階級，自小吃慣苦頭，靠自己的努力踏上從政之路。他對社會問題有一針見血的看法，雖然已經六十五歲，但對改革仍然很有魄力。我提出的想法他亦表示贊成。

我的想法。在處理杜魯斯大人的身後事後，我已有一個構想。杜魯斯大人的目標是創造一個再無武器和戰爭的世界。但是，一點防禦能力的地球要怎樣自保？與其在事後才行動，不如提前預防。我想要成立這樣一個組織去守護脆弱的和平，守護杜魯斯大人創造的和平。

在總統秘書的引導下我到達總統辦公室。

「早安，莉迪‧安小姐。」大總統一邊簽署文件一邊跟我問好，他只抬頭看一看我便再次投入文件之中。對女士來說，實在不太有禮貌。

「早安，總統閣下。」我在他臉前的座椅坐下。他在忙，我也不想浪費時間，所以開門見山，「我在等你的答覆。」

「我當然知道。妳的臉色看來不太好。」他再瞄一瞄我，然後吸了口氣，「我跟幕僚商量過，我贊同妳構想的理念，但是，在剛從戰爭中復原的狀態來說，要再成立一個軍事組織，並且讓妳保留一定的機動戰士和武器，再加上妳OZ的背景，這件事無論從哪個層面來說都很難為公眾所接受。」

這些我都知道，並且在之前的會議中我都已經提出反駁，我不想再浪費時間。

正當我要開口之際，他比我更快一步︰「所以結論是，我有條件支持妳的組織。」

我有點愕然，然後示意他繼續。

「第一，這個名為『預防者』的組織，必須要秘密運作，絕不可公諸於世。」他的樣子嚴肅，看上去跟平常在媒體面前所展露的親民友善形象不同，我得承認這給我一點壓力。

「第二，這點對妳來說可能有點難度。」他吃吃地笑，「妳是個年青貌美的女士，外形很討好，而妳是杜魯斯‧國斯里達親自挑選培養的幹部，我當然也可相信妳的能力。但是…這樣不足夠。我跟杜魯斯不同，他擅於培養娃娃兵，但我這種人…我相信經驗。」

我嘆了口氣。無論是哪一個層面，大總統，你都跟我的杜魯斯大人不一樣。我很想大聲呼叫出來。但我抑制了自己。

「所以我怎樣才可以使你信服？」

「妳要多找一個人幫妳。」他交出了一份名單，「這名單裡面的人經我們商量過，覺得對妳會有幫助。妳必須在當中找一個拍檔。」

我反了白眼。他的顧慮我都明白，但是，這個構思是我的，我相信只有我—只有杜魯斯大人親自培育的人才會理解我的想法，才可真正執行他的理想。但禮貌上我接過了名單。

隨便看了幾個資料，全部是五十歲以上的政治家。他不明白，我們要的不是政治家，是實幹的人！

「大總統，我心目中已有一個人選，她不在你的名單之中。」

他笑笑，示意我說下去。

「露洛莉亞‧諾茵，我的前下屬。她雖然年輕但曾管理大型培訓基地，也有實戰經驗。如果，」我深深吸口氣，「如果你不相信我一個人可以做到，必須要我找一個拍檔，這個人會是最好的人選。」

他打了個電話，讓秘書把露洛莉亞‧諾茵的資料提供給他。

只需五分鐘，他手上已有諾茵的檔案。

他認真翻閱，但似乎不太認同。「以她的年紀來說是相當不錯，但她未至於可以成為妳的拍檔。」

我不可以接受一個「幹練」的政治家做我的拍檔，一個政治家不會明白杜魯斯大人戰爭的美學，更加不會明白我的理念。

「她也是杜魯斯‧國斯里達親自教導為數不多的學生之一。另一個，是已經死了的美利安多‧卑斯賴多。」我刻意說出這兩個名字。杜魯斯‧國斯里達，還有美利安多‧卑斯賴多，我知道眼前的老年人是民選總統，並且口口聲聲譴責發動這場戰事的人。但是，他心底裡贊同這兩個人的手法。我知道他是為數不多了解這兩個男人發動戰爭的原因的人。

「姬蒂，」他再次叫喚秘書，「把露洛莉亞‧諾茵的資料加在名單上。」

******

我跟諾茵的淵源當然始於OZ.

她跟薩古斯一樣是杜魯斯親自培養的學生，跟薩古斯不同，她自9歲起已經跟隨杜魯斯大人，中間只有一段短時間稍為離開。沒有多少個學生得到杜魯斯大人的親自評價。我在杜魯斯大人的遺物中找到幾份檔案，只有三份有他秀麗的筆跡寫下評語，一份是我，一份是薩古斯，最後一份是諾茵。

我明白大人為甚麼會重視薩古斯，他說他是「朋友」，而不是學生。但對諾茵，他卻有比其他人更明顯的偏愛，我想是始於他在檔案上寫的兩點︰

1, 諾茵對薩古斯‧馬基斯很重要。

2, 眾多學生之中，只有她最接近我的心。

為甚麼眾多學之中只有她最接近大人的心？這句評價連薩古斯也沒有得到。諾茵從十五歲起接管OZ最大型的軍事訓練培訓所，我記得大人曾說過只有她適合。他以前經常會說「我的閃光男爵」，還有「我的金絲燕」* ，我當時非常妒忌。現在想來，當時他會作出這個安排，應該就是來自於這個評價。

諾茵正留在聖克王國。是莉莉娜‧杜利安的安排。聖克王國將從君主制過渡為共和，這個女孩子想要諾茵幫她處理這些事情，以便自己可以完全成為「杜利安」。哼，其實她也很狡滑。莉莉娜可能有外交手碗，但她除了提出一個虛無的「完全和平主義」外，政治上沒有其他能力。我知道當她回到聖克王國時，政務都由身為公主近衛的諾茵負責。我不知道諾茵會留在聖克王國是因為受美利安多‧卑斯賴多所托，還是出於認同莉莉娜的主張。但我必須要把她拉回她應該發揮能力的地方。

所以在跟總統開會後，我立即動身前往聖克王國。

我是臨時跟她有約，令我訝異的是，她沒有推卻，而是在百忙之中抽時間跟我會面。在聖克王宮的會客室等了五分鐘，諾茵便急步進來。

「特校，很久不見了。」她穿上藍色的套裝裙，掛上耳環，跟平常在軍隊的形象不一樣。她看上去像…一個淑女。我知道我的眉頭皺了一下，我今天來是要找一個戰士。

我很安慰她會接見我，並且還能對我抱持笑容。畢竟我和她在OZ時可有很多的恩怨。我跟她和薩古斯一直都不咬弦。不過，我心底裡其實很認同他們的能力。

我表明了來意，她有點愕然，但還是靜靜地聽我把說話說完。

她最初沒有回應，然後她臉上平穩的笑容消失了。她淡然的問︰「為甚麼是我？」

她這句「為甚麼是我」包含了很多意思，我全都明白。我深深吸口氣，想著要從哪裡說起。現在我再盛讚她的能力也顯得太假，所以我決定用一個問題作引子。

「妳以歷年最高分的第二名成績從維多利亞湖基地畢業，在師生之中的高評價我就不提了。第一名的薩古斯一直活躍於前線，而妳卻一直待在基地裡當教官。這些年來妳沒有提出過要調職，也沒要求升遷，只是默默地留在基地，無論怎麼看都是沒有任何野心的跡象，這是為甚麼？妳究竟因為甚麼原因留下？」

大概對於我突然提出問題覺得錯愕，她稍稍張大眼睛，但很快又調整好情緒。

「其實我根本不想留在軍隊。我會留在OZ只是因為要留在薩古斯身邊而已。」答得乾脆俐落。她表情始終如一，仍然是那個平穩的笑容。

「但是妳的能力很出眾。」

她幾乎是立即就回應我︰「只要我想做，所有事我都可以做得很好。」我知道她這句說話並不是自誇，她只是在陳述一個事實。我看過她的檔案，她畢業時的分數，全部都以一兩分之差輕微低於薩古斯。如果不是刻意為之，我實在想不到為何會這樣巧合。

「我只是因為薩古斯而留在OZ.」她重覆。

對於這個答案我有點失望。感覺她像把自己說成了一件附屬品。但是戰時她明明就跟薩古斯站在對立面，難道她不是憑著自己的意志而行的嗎？

「妳不可以整個人性只為一個男人而活。何況他已經死了。」

她因為我這句說話而對我冷眼一看。

「第一，薩古斯沒有死，我相信他仍然生存於某個地方。搜查隊不是連一塊次代高達的殘骸也沒找到嗎？第二，莉迪‧安小姐，妳何嘗不是一直在追逐著杜魯斯大人的影子？」

她說的都是事實。我心虛的別過了臉。

今天的精神狀態不好，今早喝過的咖啡效用已過。我覺得精神難以集中。

我再望向她。她臉上有著不一樣的光彩。是因為她還能抱持對自己男人仍然生存的希望？還是她因為脫離軍隊而覺得解脫？

我呼了口氣。

「我跟妳，都是在追逐著自己喜歡的人的影子。」我得承認。但當我說出這話話時，既然覺得鼻頭一酸。會低聲下氣說話，這不像我的風格，但面對著她，我也不是沒試過。

「那是因為我相信杜魯斯大人的理想是正確的。我想要守護他死後的世界，我不想讓他白白死去。他跟薩古斯演繹了一場全世界都要被迫參與的戲劇，目的只有一個，就是以光榮的敗者身份達成完美的和平。我們是留下來的人，應該要背負這份責任。我是作為杜魯斯大人遺志繼承人的身份而存在。妳呢？妳又是否明白薩古斯的…意願？」

我看到她的眼神閃爍。同樣以戰爭領導者「遺孀」的角度去考慮，諾茵，這世上沒有人比我更了解妳。我知道，比起莉莉娜‧杜利安，甚至聖克王國，美利安多‧卑斯賴多才是妳最著緊的人。

可惜，同一時間門外傳來叩門聲。

「諾茵大人，上議院的會議要開始了，阿斯哈大人想在開會前跟妳會面。」

「知道了，我就過來。」諾茵準備離開。她轉向我。

「特校，我想我們應該要有第二次會面。如妳所見我要應付這些…政治會議。」她展現了一個厭惡的表情。

「妳可以做得很好，」我對她釋出善意的微笑，「但我知道妳並不喜歡。」

她的笑容帶著抱歉，我很高興緩和了她剛才的冷眼氣氛。

「我會跟秘書安排時間，或者下次我們可以…」她低頭呼了口氣，「再詳談內容？」

我內心呼了口氣。我得到我期望的答案。不過，我仍然假裝鎮定。「如妳所願。」

「不過，」她臨走前突然回頭，「妳面色不太好，希望妳能好好休息。」

臉色…當然。我根本不能安睡。

******

第50天

因為諾茵的加入，預防者招攬了很多志同道合的人，而且大部份是前OZ的士兵，當中很多是諾茵的學生。大總統對於有眾多OZ的人加入表示頗為擔心。我明白他擔心會創造出另一個OZ，但我向他保證，這件事不會發生。而且他也得承認，杜魯斯大人的OZ的確為世界培育出很多人才，如果要找現成可用的士兵和能力者，我們根本不可避免地要從OZ舊部入手。

諾茵還推薦了另一個人選，聯邦的莎莉‧普。我跟她有過一臉之緣，但當時她只作為卑斯美利昂上的難民身份，陪同莉莉娜一同到來，我們沒太多機會交談。諾茵對她的評價很高，而我跟她有個正式會面後，也讚同諾茵的講法。

預防者就在我們三個的協作下漸見雛形。

因為預防者已經成形，我們的工作非常忙碌。我幾乎都是睡在辦公室中。每一次見面，諾茵都說我的臉色不好。

「莉迪‧安，妳要去睡覺。」一天晚上，跟我一同加班的諾茵如此說。

「我很好，不用擔心。」我的眼睛沒有離開過電腦。

「但妳已喝了第五杯咖啡。」

聽到她的説話，我才發現自己手上拿著一杯咖啡。

「妳為甚麼要瘋狂工作？」她停下手上的工作，表情像是不解，卻又更像是輕責。

「我想要盡快完成所有工作。妳如果累就先離開吧，不要再看著我。」我感到有點煩厭。我只想專注完成眼前所見。

「妳想瘋狂工作到甚麼時候？」

「諾茵。」

「從我第一天見妳，到現在差不多一個月了，妳的臉色沒有好過。」

「諾茵！」這次有警告的意味。

「妳如果過勞死了我可會被推上去當領導，妳不要坑我。」

我倏然笑出來。

「我不會死的，沒那麼容易。」

「妳知道人是很容易死的。」

這句話觸動了我的神經。我承認連日的睡眠不足，並且睡眠質素不好，使我心情很煩躁。

「如果很容易死，為甚麼妳就不願意相信薩古斯已經死了？」

當說出這句話後，我立即就後悔了。我假裝不在意的瞄了她。她也望著我。表情沒有憤怒，嘴角微彎，合上雙眼輕輕笑了出來。

我知道這是甚麼笑容，我對此很熟悉…是杜魯斯大人的笑容。

「為甚麼妳就不可以把事情處理得優雅一點？」

我…聽到的是甚麼？究竟在說話的是諾茵…還是杜魯斯大人？

「是妳說要把杜魯斯大人的遺志繼承下去，但就憑妳現在的精神狀態，可以走到多遠？」她走向我，把我座位前的椅子推向我身邊，然後靜靜坐下來。

「薩古斯消失了的那天，我哭得天昏地暗。他跟我最後的對話是『諾茵，我出發了。』，我答他『我會一直等你回來。』。其實我不知道自己可不可以等到一個答案。我只是，單純的相信著他會信守諾言回來。他答應我的事從來都會做到。但是，我最後也哭昏了。哭過後我第一次覺得有一種釋放的感覺，就像是在為他哭泣，也為了自己而哭泣。哭過後，我覺得過去的我已經完成任務。」

她揚起眉，嘆了口氣，像是在說著別人的事。

「然後，我覺得自己再有勇氣重新出發了。我想，薩古斯會要求我做甚麼呢？繼承他的意志？照顧好莉莉娜和聖克王國？當然，他一定希望我這樣做。但我知道他對我最基本的要求是甚麼，一定要好好照顧自己，等待跟他重逢。」她抿嘴，又再掛上平穩的笑容，「妳呢，妳當時的腦海裡想著的都是甚麼？現在又在想甚麼？你覺得杜魯斯大人會想妳做甚麼？」

我在想甚麼？我在想杜魯斯大人會想我做甚麼。我怎樣才可追上他。我要怎樣才不會令他失望。我要怎樣做才會…變得優雅？那麼杜魯斯大人又會想我做甚麼？

「他會想妳優雅的活著。」像是回應我內心的提問，諾茵微笑著。

我突然覺得乾涸的眼睛有點濕潤。一滴淚水流在臉上。然後，第二滴，第三滴…

我幾乎都忘記了，同樣以戰爭領導者「遺孀」的角度去考慮，諾茵，這世上沒有人比妳更了解我。

第50天，我終於決堤一般哭了出來。

*參考自One Year in Starfall by Gabriella Fairbourne ([One Year in Starfall Chapter 1: Christmas, a gundam wing/ac fanfic | FanFiction](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7298073/1/One-Year-in-Starfall)) 這是一部寫得非常好的同人作品(目前為止我最喜歡的作品)，雖然已停止更新好幾年，但現存的11篇和一篇番外編都是品質優良的作品，很有閱讀價值。強烈推薦有興趣的人觀看。

** English version**

Day 14

Lord Treize left the world and me. It has been 14 days. My world has not collapsed, it must continue to operate. I looked in the mirror and my face was not so good, probably because I couldn't sleep well. I have thrown my glasses because I no longer need them. I no longer care about what others say about me.

I have a meeting with the President today. He was the presidential candidate quickly elected by the people after the war. I have fought him a few times and he is a hard worker. He was born in the labour class, accustomed to suffering from food, and embarked on the road to politics by his own efforts. He has a sharp view on social issues. Although he is sixty-five years old, he still has the courage to reform. He also agrees with my idea.

My idea. After the funeral of His Excellency, I have an idea. Lord Treize’s goal is to create a world without weapons and wars. However, how can a defensive planet protect itself? Instead of acting after the event, it is better to prevent it in advance. I want to set up such an organization to protect the fragile peace. To guard the peace created by His Excellency.

I arrived at the President office under the guidance of the secretary.

"Good morning, Miss Lady Une." The President greeted me as he signed the document. He only looked up at me and plunged into the document again. It was not very polite to a lady.

"Good morning, Your Presidency." I sat down in the seat in front of him. He was busy, and I didn’t want to waste time, so I was straightforward, "I’m waiting for your answer."

"Of course I know. Your face doesn't look very good." He glanced at me again, and then took a breath. "I discussed with my staff. I agree with the idea you conceived. However, when we just recovered from the war, in terms of the state, is it necessary to set up another military organization, and allow you to retain certain mobile suits and weapons, plus under your OZ background? This matter is difficult to be accepted by the public at any level."

I know all of these, and I have put forward rebuttals in previous meetings, I don't want to waste any more time.

Just as I was about to speak, he was a step faster than me, "So the conclusion is that I have the conditions to support your organization."

I was a little surprised, and then motioned for him to continue.

"First, this organization called the "Preventers" must operate in secret and must not be made public." His appearance was serious and looked different from the friendly image of himself usually displayed in front of the media. I have to admit this gave me a little pressure.

"Second, this may be a bit difficult for you." He chuckles, "You are a young and beautiful lady with a very pleasing appearance, and you are a cadre personally selected and trained by Treize Khushrenada. Of course I can also trust your ability. But... this is not enough. I am different from Treize, he was good at training kid soldiers, but people like me... I believe in experience."

I sighed. No matter who you are, President, you are different from my Lord Treize. I wanted to call out loudly. But I restrained myself.

"So how can I convince you?"

"You have to find one more person to help you." He handed over a list. "The people on this list have been discussed and selected by us and I think it will be helpful to you. You must find a partner among them."

I rolled my eyes. I understood his concerns, but this idea is mine, and I believe that only me—only those who have personally cultivated by His Excellency will understand my ideas and can truly implement his ideals. But politely I took the list.

I randomly read a few materials, all of which were politicians over fifty. He didn’t understand that I don't need politicians, but people more practical!

"President, I have a candidate in my mind, she is not on your list."

He smiled and motioned for me to continue.

"Lucrezia Noin, my former subordinate. Although she is young, she has managed a large training base and has practical experience. If," I took a deep breath, "If you don't believe that I can do it alone and insist that I have to look for a partner, this person will be the best candidate."

He made a phone call and asked the secretary to provide him with information about Lucrezia Noin.

In just five minutes, he had Noin's files on hand.

He read it carefully, but didn't seem to agree. "It's pretty good for her age, but she may not up to be your partner."

I cannot accept a "skilled" politician to be my partner. A politician will not understand the war aesthetics of Lord Treize, also won’t understand my ideas.

"She is also one of the few students whom Treize Khushrenada personally trained. The other was Milliardo Peacecraft who already died." I deliberately said these two names. Treize Khushrenada and Milliardo Peacecraft, I know that the old man in front of me is an elected president, and he keeps condemning those who started this war. However, in his heart he agreed with these two men's methods. I know he is one of the few people who understands why these two men started the war.

"Kathy," he called the secretary again, "Add Lucrezia Noin’s information to the list."

******

Of course, my relationship with Noin began in OZ.

Like Zechs, she was a student trained by Lord Treize himself. Unlike Zechs, she has followed His Excellency since she was 9 years old, and only left for a short time. Not many students got the personal evaluation by His Excellency. I found several files in Lord Treize's remains, and only three have his comments by his beautiful handwriting, one is me, one is Zechs, and the last is Noin.

I understand why His Excellency valued Zechs. He said he was a "friend", not a student. But for Noin, he had a more obvious preference than others. I think it because of two points he wrote on the file:

  1. Noin is very important to Zechs Merquise.



2, Among all hand-pick students, only she is the closest to my heart.

Why was she the only one who was closest to Lord Trieze’s heart among all students? Even Zechs did not get this comment. Noin has taken over OZ’s largest military academy training institute from the age of fifteen. I remembered His Excellency once said that only she was suitable. He used to say "My Lightning Baron" and "My swiftlet"*. I was very jealous. Thinking about it now, he would make this arrangement at that time, which should have come from this evaluation.

Noin is staying in the Sanc Kingdom. It was arranged by Relena Darlian. The Sanc kingdom will have transition from a monarchy to a republic, and this girl wants Noin to help her with these things so that she can become a "Darlian" completely. Humph, she is actually very cunning. Relena may have diplomatic skills, but she has no political ability other than proposing a vain "Perfect Peacefullism." I know that when she returned to the Kingdom, the government affairs were taken care by Noin, who was the guard of the princess. I don't know if Noin chooses to stay in the Kingdom because of being entrusted by Milliardo Peacecraft, or because she agrees with Relena's opinion. But I have to pull her back to where she should be able to perform.

So after a meeting with the President, I immediately set off for the Sanc Kingdom.

I had an appointment with her temporarily. To my surprise, she did not push back, but instead took time to meet with me out of her busy schedule. After waiting for five minutes in the meeting room in the Palace, Noin hurried forward.

"Colonel, it's been a while." She put on a blue suit with earrings, which was different from her usual image in the army. She looks like...a lady. I know my brows frowned, I came today to find a soldier not a lady.

I was very comforted that she would meet me and smiled at me. After all, she and I had a lot of grievances when we were in OZ. I have clashed with Zechs and her all the time. However, in my heart I really agree with their abilities.

I told her my plan and made it clear, she was a bit stunned, but still quietly listened to me to finish speaking.

She didn't respond at first, and then the steady smile on her face disappeared. She asked calmly, "Why me?"

Her phrase "Why me" contained a lot of meanings, and I understood them all. I took a deep breath, thinking where to start. Now it seems not sincere at all for me to praise her abilities, so I decided to use a question as an introduction.

"You graduated from Lake Victoria Base with the 2nd highest score. I won't mention the high evaluation among teachers and students. Zechs, the first place, has been active on the front line, but you have always stayed at the base as an instructor. Over the years, you have not proposed to transfer or ask for promotion. You just stayed silently at the base. No matter how you look at it, there is no sign of ambition. Why? Why were you staying?"

Probably she was taken aback by my sudden question. She widened her eyes slightly, but quickly adjusted her mood.

"Actually, I don't want to stay in the army at all. The reason I stayed in OZ just because I wanted to stay with Zechs." The answer was simple and neat. Her expression was always the same, and still with that steady smile.

"But your ability is outstanding."

She responded to me almost immediately, "As long as I want to do, I can do everything well." I know that she is not boasting, she is just stating a fact. I have seen her file, and her grades at graduation were all slightly lower than Zechs by a difference of one or two points. If it was not deliberately, I really can't think of why such a coincidence happened.

"I just stayed in OZ because of Zechs." She repeated.

I was a little disappointed with this answer. It felt like she has described herself as an accessory. But during the war, she was clearly on the opposite side of Zechs. Didn't she act on her own will?

"You can't live your whole life for only one man. Besides, he is dead."

She gave me a cold look because of what I said.

"First, Zechs is not dead. I believe he still lives somewhere. Didn’t the search team not even find a wreck of the Gundam Epyon? Second, Miss Lady Une, aren’t you chasing the shadow of Lord Treize?"

What she said was true. I guiltily turned away.

My mental state today was not good, the coffee I drank this morning was no use now. I found it difficult to concentrate.

I looked at her again. She was brilliant on her face. Was it because she could hold on a hope of her man still living? Or did she feel relieved by leaving the army?

I exhaled.

"You and I are chasing the shadow of the person we loved." I have to admit. But when I said this, I felt an emotion on me. Speaking in a low voice which is not like my style, but facing her, I have already tried it.

"That’s because I believe His Excellency’s ideals are correct. I want to protect the world after his death. I don’t want him to die in vain. He and Zechs performed a ‘drama’ that the whole world is forced to participate in. There was only one goal, which is to achieve a perfect peace as a glorious loser. We are the ones who stayed and should bear this responsibility. I exist as the heir to the legacy of Lord Treize. How about you? Do you understand Zechs'…will?"

I saw her eyes twinkling. Also consider from the perspective of the ”widow” of war leaders, Noin, no one in this world knows you better than I do. I know that compared to Relena Darlian, or even the Sanc, Milliardo Peacecraft is your most important person.

Unfortunately, there was a knock on the door at the same time.

"Lady Noin, the meeting of the House of Lords is about to begin, Lord Athha wants to meet with you before the meeting."

"I know, I'll come over." Noin was about to leave. She turned to me.

"Colonel, I think we should have a second meeting. As you can see, I have to deal with these... political meetings." She showed an expression of disgust.

"You can do well," I smiled kindly at her, "but I know you don't like it."

Her smile was apologetic, and I was very happy to alleviate the atmosphere made by her cold-eyed earlier.

"I will arrange time with the secretary. Maybe next time we can..." She lowered her head and exhaled, "discuss more details?"

I exhaled inwardly. I got the answer I expected. However, I still pretend to be calm. "As you wish."

"However," she suddenly turned back before she left, "You look bad, I hope you can rest well."

Look Bad...Of course. I can't sleep at all.

******

Day 50

Because of Noin's participation, the Preventers recruited many like-minded people, and most of them were former OZ soldiers, and many of them were Noin’ students. The President expressed concern that too many OZ people join the organization. I understood that he is worried that another OZ will be created, but I assure him that this will not happen. And he has to admit that Lord Treize's OZ has indeed cultivated a lot of talents for the world. If we are looking for soldiers who are ready to work as well as the capable people, we will inevitably start from the old OZ.

Noin also recommended another candidate, Sally Po from the Federation. I had met her once, but at that time she was only as a refugee in Peacemillion, and accompanied Relena to come together. We didn't have much chance to talk. Noin spoke highly of her, and after I had a formal meeting with her, I also agreed with Noin's opinion.

The Preventers gradually took shape under the cooperation of the three of us.

Because the Preventers has taken shape, our work is very busy. I almost sleep in the office. Every time I met Noin, she said that I look bad.

"Lady Une, you need to take some sleeps." said Noin, who worked overtime with me one night.

"I'm fine, don't worry." My eyes never leave the computer.

"But you have had your fifth cup of coffee."

When I heard her talking, I found myself holding a cup of coffee in my hand.

"Why are you working like crazy?" She stopped her work, her expression seemed incomprehensible, but it was more like a condemnation.

"I want to finish all the work as soon as possible. If you are tired, leave first, don't look at me again." I felt a little annoyed. I just want to focus on completing what I have.

"How long do you want to work crazily?"

"Noin."

"From the first day I met you, it has been almost a month now, and your face has not been better."

"Noin!" This time it meant a warning.

"If you are died because of overworked, I will be pushed up as a leader. Don't treat me like that."

I laughed.

"I won't die, it's not that easy."

"You know that people are easy to die."

This sentence touched my nerves. I admit that the lack of sleep for several days and the poor quality of sleep made me feel very irritable. 

"If it's easy to die, why don't you want to believe that Zechs is dead?"

When I said this, I immediately regretted it. I pretended to ignore her and glanced at her. She also looked at me. The expression was not angry, the corners of her mouth were slightly bent, and she closed her eyes and smiled gently.

I know what a smile it is, and I am familiar with it... It is the smile of His Excellency.

"Why can't you handle things elegantly?"

What did I... hear? Is it Noin... or His Excellency that is specking?

"It was you who want to inherit the legacy of His Excellency, but based on your current state, how far can you go?" She walked to me, pushed the chair in front of my seat towards me, and then sat down quietly.

"The day Zechs disappeared, I cried fiercely. His last dialogue with me was ‘Noin, I'm leaving.’, Then I said, ‘I will always wait for you to come back.’ Actually I don't know if I can wait for an answer. I just simply believe that he will keep his promise and come back. What he promised me will always be done. However, I cried out in the end. For the first time after crying, I felt a sense of release, like crying for him and crying for myself. After crying, I felt that I had completed the task in the past. "

She raised her eyebrows and sighed, as if she was talking about someone else but not herself.

"Then, I feel that I have the courage to set off again. I thought, what would Zechs ask me to do? Inherit his will? Take care of Relena and the Kingdom? Of course, he must want me to do this. But I know what his most basic requirement for me is, I must take good care of myself and wait to see him again." She pursed her mouth, and put on a steady smile, "What about you? What are you thinking about now? What do you think Lord Trieze would want you to do?"

What am I thinking? I am thinking what His Excellency would think of me. How can I catch him. How can I not disappoint him. What should I do to...be elegant? So what would Lord Treize want me to do?

"He would want you to live elegantly." As if responding to my inner question, Noin smiled.

I suddenly felt a little moist in my dry eyes. A drop of tears flowed on my face. Then, the second drop, the third drop...

I almost forgot. She is also one of the war leader’s “widow”, Noin, no one in this world knows me better than you.

On the 50th day, I finally burst into tears.

*Reference/inspiration from One Year in Starfall by Gabriella Fairbourne ([One Year in Starfall Chapter 1: Christmas, a gundam wing/ac fanfic | FanFiction](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7298073/1/One-Year-in-Starfall)) This is a very well-written fanfiction (so far my favourite). Although the update has been stopped for several years, the existing 11 chapters and one extra-compilation are all high-quality works, which are of great reading value. It is highly recommended for those who are interested to read.


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